Monday, June 27, 2011

Smart And Water; Mother's Day Promises; No Joy; We With Stevie

It's hot!

Last week, I decided not to do my 6.5 mile run outside because of the heat. Instead, I returned to Life Time Fitness for a long treadmill run the night after my cross-train night. My cross-train night was brutal, and I'm fairly certain that I set my personal sweat record during the stair climb hour.

Since Deborah loves me, and she knew how wasted I was on Tuesday night, she told me to "buy some water and drink while I run on the treadmill."

I bought Smart Water.

I don't know why. As Deborah says, trailer-park water is good enough for her, but I have to buy the "Smart efn Water."

So...while I'm running, and drinking my smart water, I pull my iPhone off the console, it flips in the air, lands on the belt, and shoots to the row of treadmills behind me. There's no way to look cool when that happens. Maybe I needed to drink more Smart Water.

After the run, I head for the showers to get clean and shave my legs. YES, I shave my legs, and I have ever since I tried to get into triathlon. Anyway...I'm in the shower shaving, and all is well. Afterwards I pick up the kids, and on the way home I realized that I had shaved my right leg, but forgot to do the left!

Smart Water anyone?


Deborah's back on her feet again (kinda), and she took her trail bike out for a ride. For Mother's Day she "received" the purple Saris Bones 3 bike rack for the back of the Escape. Actually, it was more of a promise to receive a purple Saris Bones 3 bike rack, but I didn't make that part as clear as it probably needed to be. Fortunately, the bike rack arrived before Father's Day.

Father's Day is the day when I received promises to receive...

Message received load and clear.

Lexie was lying in bed with Deborah and I, and as usual, Deborah and I started kissing and cuddling. When Lexie couldn't get all the attention she desired, she exclaimed, "Cut out all the joy (you two)!"

Deborah loves Stevie Nicks, so...

I've been going to Stevie's website every other day to see when she might be touring. The second tickets went on sale, I was on my iPhone trying to buy tickets through TicketMaster. Here's what I gave Deborah.

Click to enlarge.

We are on Row 5. I told Deborah, "This is so cool. Stevie will be able to see us."

Saturday, June 18, 2011

A Cow And Some Butt

Our family drinks, on average, seven gallons of milk per week. Seven gallons.

We have 3 gallons of milk delivered on Tuesday, and by Friday, I'm buying milk at the grocery store. More than once I've teased Deborah that we just need to put a milk cow out back.

After dropping the kids at summer camp on Wednesday morning, I was driving up the street to our house when I notice a young cow trotting past the front of the house. Just in the middle of the road, lazily trotting past our house. I'm thinking, "Did Deborah buy a cow online?," and then I thought "nah, it must be a scout locating the big users."

I didn't have my camera with me, and I wasn't quick enough with my phone, so I didn't get a picture. Which I know means that it didn't happen...but I swear there was a cow in front of our house on Wednesday morning. I'm from Texas. I've been called Bubba all my life. I've herded cattle. I know a cow when I see one.

I mowed the front yard today, so I also know that if the scout was trying to leave a message, I didn't step in it.


I always want to keep life interesting, so on Thursday I googled "female butt anatomy." I was looking for a new way to compliment Deborah. I came up with a text message that ended, "p.s. I love your gluteal sulcus."

As expected, her response was, "huh?" Later, while sitting on the porch swing with Deborah, I showed her the wiki page with a picture of a generic female gluteal sulcus. She grabbed my phone and continued with the section on "intergluteal cleft."

And lots of other pages with pictures of male glutes.

Before the night was over, half of our household was pulling up/down their shorts to show mom their butt and have their gluteal sulcus identified.

Like I always say, "Carpe diem bootay."

Sunday, June 12, 2011

2:40:09! I'm A Finisher Again!

Graphic Language Warning

I was torn this morning. On the one hand, I had trained adequately to finish; I had completed acclimatization runs in Estes Park; I had eaten good and rested pre-race; I had sucked down Imodium and Advil; and I had plenty of gels to run. On the other hand, my mind wasn't right. Deborah was sick and asked to be taken back down to Denver, so I wouldn't have my sexy athletic supporter. ;-) She also wasn't very happy with me, so that was on my mind. And I did have doubts about completing a race.

The last time I finished a race was in 2007. My 2008 Melbourne Marathon attempt resulted in a DNF after 30 km. Since that time I entered the Cowtown Marathon and the 2010 Estes Park Half Marathon, but each time, I was injured during training. This time I was healthy, but I had a very hard time completing my long runs--the mental aspect of getting out and running was hard, but the runs were OK. In any case, I hadn't completed a race in 3 years, and once I DNF'ed in Melbourne, it made it very easy to opt out of a race.

Regardless, this morning, I lined up with the other half-marathoners and readied for the start. I knew one other runner, Maddie, who is a counselor at the summer camp that Justin and Jarrod are attending. She's only 25 years old and had three 16 mile runs under her belt over the last month. I knew I couldn't run with Maddie, but at least I knew someone.

The starting line was adjacent, as in right next to, the line of porta-potties that were busy as usual pre-race. I've never wanted a race to start so much. Not because I was ready to run, but because each breath made me grimace.

With little fanfare, the lead runners took off, and the race was on. I started my watch and began my waddle at the back of the pack. My goal was to run a 11:30 first mile because I absolutely didn't want to go out too fast. As we cruised along, I noticed my labored breathing, and I thought WTF? At about 1.4 miles, I looked down at my watch, and I was running a 10:00 pace, which is way too fast, but even worse I realized that my watch did not start when I thought I clicked it at the starting line.

So now, I'm breathing hard and pissed off that I made a rookie mistake. At this point, I said, "fuck it, I'm turning around and going back to the truck. I'll tell Deborah that I didn't feel good." As I'm thinking this, I kept running until we crossed highway 36, where Colorado state troopers had stopped vacationer traffic. I wasn't going to stop there, so I convinced myself to slow down and see if the run got better.

It didn't.

At three miles, I sucked down a gel and wanted to puke. I couldn't breathe; I couldn't run; and now my stomach was bothering me. So I'm thinking, "why the fuck are you out here doing this to yourself? No one cares if I run this, and at this point, I don't give a damn about finishing this thing. I'll rip off this number and walk back."

I kept going. I needed a Sherpa. Bad.

In 2007, when I ran my first marathon in Steamboat Springs, Carrie showed up and inspired me to keep moving and finish. It was frickin ugly, but I completed the marathon in 5:19 or thereabouts. I needed a Sherpa now.

About that time, between miles 4 and 5, a lady started running next to me and we carried on a conversation for awhile. It was a pretty one-sided conversation with her talking and me grunting answers as best I could, but she was so upbeat and having so much fun that I just said, "Fuck it. I don't care if I walk this half marathon, I'm going to finish. I am not a quitter. Melbourne was an anomaly, and I will finish this half marathon."

So I kept moving. Running mostly with some short walking intervals at aid stations or uphill sections. My old running technique was to find a female butt I liked, and I would try to stay behind it. I didn't really have that option for this race, so I decided I would pass that guy in grey. And after him, I would pass someone else. And I would keep going.

At 6 miles, I decided to run to 8 miles without any walking breaks. I never walked another step the rest of the half marathon. From 6 miles through 13.1 miles, I kept a slow steady pace in the upper 11 minute range with some 12 minute miles sprinkled in.

I finished to Estes Park Half Marathon in 2:40:09 to applause from a small crowd and with a huge smile on my face. I was/am not a quitter. At 50 years old an 260 lbs, I ran a half marathon at a starting and ending elevation of 7,522 ft. In the end, I was about 10 minutes slower than I hoped, but I fought through the mental and physical aspects of running, and I'm a finisher again.

Update June 14, 2011

Not that this matters to anyone but me...

I finished number 8 out of 11 in my age division (50-59), and they didn't have a clydesdale division. Overall, I finished number 182 out of 248. The average finishing time was 2:26:34, so I finished at a below average pace, which I already knew without the fancy digital timing stuff.

Although I didn't start my watch at the beginning, my known average pace per mile is as follows.

Mile 1 - n/a
Mile 2 - 12:56 (partial mile)
Mile 3 - 12:10
Mile 4 - 12:12
Mile 5 - 12:55
Mile 6 - 13:45
Mile 7 - 12:40
Mile 8 - 10:49
Mile 9 - 12:12
Mile 10 - 11:20
Mile 11 - 11:48
Mile 12 - 12:01
Mile 13 - 12:23
Mile 13.1 - 11:40

Monday, June 6, 2011

Week 8 - Hi-Ho!!!! Hi-Ho!!!!

Hi-ho, hi-ho. It's off to Estes Park we go...

We're heading for the mountains. Gonna get comfy in the house. Check out the hot tub. And run 6 miles.

Yeah, we're leaving early enough that I will get in 1, 2, or 3 acclimatization runs. Since PEDs are out of the question, acclimatization seems like the best idea for getting a PR improving performance finishing the 1/2 marathon. That's right. After realizing that reality is really staring me in the face, I no longer have ridiculous goals to fail and explain later. I just want to finish the 1/2 marathon and have fun.

I'll think of Deborah's boobs ;-) and run until I'm done. (Ya know this was Deborah's idea at the 2007 St. George marathon, and I ran a blazing 4:14:23. Them some really good boobs.)

Four years ago, it was so much different. First off, running didn't hurt as much. In the last four years, I've seen my healing processes slowed, which means I can't recover from hard workouts as fast.

Secondly, and more importantly, running has lost a little fun. In the old days, I followed Bold, Stronger, AJ, and several other bloggers with either running or triathlon posts. I miss them all (except Carrie, cause I still read your posts every day). The group of bloggers kept me motivated, and without question, helped me complete my first 1/2 marathon (2007 Horseshoe Half) and marathon (2007 Steamboat Marathon - Ugh). It was fun to follow others, which in turn pushed me to keep going.

I could find new running bloggers, but I don't want to. I miss you guys' words. But...Change is inevitable. The world is dynamic. People are dynamic, and I'm a damn different DrBubba now compared to 2007. In the words of a forum poster at, "I'm fat and I'm slow and those are my good qualities." Pretty funny, but I hope Deborah doesn't agree too often.

Onwards to Estes Park.

I'll be live-blogging the run cause as slow as I'll be running, carrying an iphone and blogging shouldn't be a problem. Just kidding.

This week I completed the following.

Monday - 9.00 mile run
Tuesday - Cross-train - stairs & weights
Wednesday - Rest
Thursday - 5.5 mile run
Friday - Cross-train - stairs & weights
Saturday - Rest
Sunday - Rest