Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Long Run for an Ultramarathoner

I asked my coach what he considers a long run for an ultramarathoner. He said that as he prepares for a 100 miler, he will always get in at least a couple 50 mile runs. And he added his workouts during the week are about the same as a marathoner, but on weekends, he'll run two long runs. The long runs are in terms of hours instead of miles, for example, 5 hours on Saturday followed by 3 or 4 hours on Sunday would be considered 2 long runs.

Makes my feet hurt thinking about it.

My bucket-with-holes-in-the-bottom list held the following.
1. Jumping from an airplane.
2. Climbing an 8000 m peak. (I'd still like to trek to base camp.)
3. Completing an ultramarathon.

Fortunately, those 3 have leaked out of the bucket and I don't have to consider doing them. My other bucket list remains quite full, including a sub 4:00:00 marathon on May 6, 2012.

Monday, October 17, 2011

My Coach Wins Boulder 12 Hour Run

My coach, David Clark, was the first male finisher in the Boulder 12-hour run yesterday. Officially, he ran 64.26 miles in 12 hours, but he made another loop that finished 2 minutes beyond the 12 hour limit, that is, he ran 71.4 miles in 12 hours and 2 minutes. Sheeeeeitttt! I'm impressed.

He told me today that he hadn't done a l-o-n-g run since the Leadville 100, so he felt really strong.

(What's a long run to an ultramarathoner? I need to ask that on Wednesday)

And as if nothing happened, he showed up for workout today and put me through my fat-ass paces. I only thought I was embarrassed by running a slow 5.05 miles over the weekend. Today, I was really embarrassed that I can even think tired after my coach did that yesterday and just seems his normal self today.

He did say his core was a little tight. His core is tight? Yeah, right. They'd still be scrapping my dead big-ass core off the 7.14 mile loop today if I tried that.

It's good to know my coach can run-the-run and not just talk-the-talk.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Walk. Run. Stumble. Repeat

I'm back here. God dammit!


I hired a coach to help me prepare for the Colorado Marathon. His name is David Clark, and I think he would consider himself an ultramarathoner. I just finished my first week following David's plan, which included a strength and core workout and interval training.

INTERVAL training.


The two have never mixed before this week, but I did it. I've been working out for years, including running, stair climbing, and weight training, but I was so sore after David's strength and core workout that it reminded of two-a-days when I played football. I could barely walk down the stairs at home much less run.

On Friday, I completed my Metabolic testing, so now I know my training zones. Apparently, I have trained my body to not burn fat, which is a very bad thing for a big Clydesdale-sized runner. I think David is going to retrain my body to be an efficient fat-burning machine. Meanwhile, I had to complete a Zone 2, 5 mile, long-slow-distance run yesterday. There was nothing "long" about a 5 mile run, but slow, yeah, it was s-l-o-w distance. OMG, it was so embarrassing. Over an hour to go 5.05 miles while not letting my heart rate increase above 130 bpm. This training plan better damn sure work cause I'm going to follow it to the letter. Even if people do laugh. Grrr.


Nothing funny happened this week. There were some laughs, but easily negated by other issues. God, I want things to change.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Wiener Juice

Deborah is doing laundry yesterday, and throws a pair of my clean underwear at Lexie, but tells Lexie that they're dirty. Lexie is running away doing the usual "ew yuk" stuff when Deborah asks whats wrong with dirty underwear?

Lexie says, "They're full of wiener juice."

WTF?! She's only seven. Where the hell did she hear that?

Ends up she put "wiener" and "juice" together herself. Smart girl.

And damn funny.

1st Anniversary Celebration: Part III - Aw Hail No And Finale

After such a wonderful Saturday evening and sleeping in, Deborah suggested that we head down to the pool on Sunday afternoon. Deborah and I had stayed together at the Venetian in 2007 while I was in town to run the St. George Marathon, and on Sunday morning after the marathon, we went out to enjoy the Venetian pools without any other people around. We had a gigantic jacuzzi all to ourselves before Deborah headed in to get a massage. I think we both wanted to repeat that experience.

It was a beautiful day, that is, not too hot, and many people were enjoying the Venetian pools. Deborah and I walked over to the same jacuzzi we had relaxed in during our 2007 trip, and amazingly, there wasn't a soul in or around the pool. So, we make ourselves comfortable and jump in. Within 5 minutes, people start arriving from every direction, and our little pool starts to get crowded...then we heard thunder.

I'm thinking Las Vegas is in a desert, right? So at most we might get a few sprinkles followed by wonderful sunshine. It starts with sprinkles. Then, a little thunder, and heavier rain. At this point, all the girls with their boobs hanging out of their bikini tops began to worry about their hair. The lightening and the real possibility of being electrocuted in a pool didn't seem to bother anyone as much as the thought of their hair getting messed up. BUT, nobody moved to get out of the pool, including us.

A little heavier rain, and then the hail started--pea-sized, or maybe a little bigger.

Still, nobody moved. It was all so ridiculous. No one was willing to give up their place in the pool, so we all waited out a hailstorm. After a few minutes of hail and a little more rain, it all stopped. As expected, the sun came out and it was a beautiful day again.

So we're all still sitting in the pool, and a Venetian employee comes out and tells us that we have to get out of the pool. The Venetian decided that in order to protect our safety they needed to close the pool after the storm had passed. Needless to say, our pool experience in 2011 wasn't quite the same as 2007. Everything we took outside with us was soaked, but we gathered it up and went back to the room. Ah, memories.

After attending Zumanity that evening, we retired to our suite for another fine meal and a movie. It was so good, I can't even remember the name of the movie.

On Monday morning, we were up and packed to return to Denver. Before leaving, we decided to go to the Venetian shops to get gifts for the kids. As we're walking through the shops, Deborah notices a statue in the middle of the walkway. I had walked past the same statue at least a 1/2 dozen times, and every time, people are laying money on the pedestal. I'm thinking...Italian...Catholicism...people must be donating to the church. Then one time when I was walking by, I noticed that the statue moved. Holy shit, it's a dude. So, I tell Deborah that it's a guy and not a statue, and she has to go back for another look.

Like everyone else, we had to leave some cash for the statue too. Way cool.

So that was it. Our 1st Anniversary Celebration came to a close, and we both realized that it was the best weekend of our lives. Seriously.

By the time we hit the ground in Denver, we were getting reports about the kids, schedules that had to be maintained, doctor's appointments, punishments, money, stress, ...

Deborah looked at me and said, "Can we go back?"

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


So yesterday my 20 year old stepson and I were picking up Deborah's car. He gets out and says, "Man, I love satellite radio."

I replied, "Yeah, me too. Originally, I didn't think I'd like it, but now I want it in all our cars."

Then he noted, "Man it's probably perfect for you since they have all that OLD music you like."

Maynard are you reading this? I need something new.

1st Anniversary Celebration: Part II - Phantom Yo Eleven

Our anniversary celebration was never about gambling. We simply wanted time away together without kids where we could enjoy each others company while taking in shows and eating good food.

As noted in 1st Anniversary Celebration: Part I - The Invitation, our only tight scheduling was the airplane departures. Deborah did a fantastic job and was actually ready to leave for the airport before I was, and our flight to Las Vegas went off without a hitch. When we arrived in Las Vegas, our driver was waiting for us, and after retrieving bags we were off to the Venetian.

After traveling, Deborah needs some time to unwind, so we checked into our suite and she tried to relax. What Deborah didn't know is that I had arranged for 2 dozen lavender roses to be delivered to the room after we checked in. She kept trying to get me to leave so she could relax, but I kept stalling and hanging around. Finally the roses were delivered, and the arrangement was beautiful, but huge. Deborah took 40 or 50 pictures of the roses with the vase in numerous positions throughout the suite.

After I left the room, I played a few slot machines, lost some money, and went searching for a Diet Coke. All the food service establishments in The Venetian have only Pepsi products, and every since Pepsi's now CEO, Indra Nooyi, used her middle finger to describe the United States, I will not drink Pepsi products. Period.

So I left the Venetian looking for Diet Coke. Las Vegas in September is still hot, as in 103°F hot, with sun light trying to burn a hole through everyone and everything. I took off walking down the strip being constantly approached by card flickers advertising the "best adult entertainment" and "girls delivered straight to me." I just wanted a Diet Coke, and I definitely didn't want some naked ho delivering it to me, so I kept walking.

I've been to Las Vegas maybe 20 or 25 times over the years, and I've never seen Elvis. During my quest for a Diet Coke, I saw Elvis walking down the strip. Sweating. In a Spandex jump suit, which was also soaked in sweat. Way way too much of his physique was recognizable. Waayy toooo much.

Ya think dressing as Elvis in Las Vegas gets a guy laid?

Anyway, in the middle of the Strip, I found a McDonalds, which I despise, but I knew they would have Diet Coke, so I went in and ordered an extra large cup. I'm sitting at a table drinking my Diet Coke and realize that I'm surrounded by guys and girls in hot pants and 6 inch heels. They weren't bothering me. It's just that they seemed to be everywhere.

I'm sure they're writing on their blog about a sweaty tourist from Kansas or somewhere drinking Diet Coke from the fountain and staring at them in a McDonalds. That would be me.

Our first night was very relaxed. We ordered in-room dining and went to sleep in separate rooms with the sounds of the Mirage's volcano erupting every so often. I know, almost too exciting.

The next day we woke late and took a walk over to Wynn's Las Vegas. It was there that Deborah found the unlocked Ferrari and got in. I'm the one that asked her to show me a boob for one of the pictures. After revealing her boob, people started walking toward the Ferrari for some reason. On group said, "I didn't know we could sit in the Ferrari," and I replied, "Neither did we." Before we could haul ass, a line of people was forming to sit in the Ferrari and flash their boobs. Ok, maybe they just wanted to sit in the Ferrari. I'm sure the owner was none too pleased to come outside later and find people sitting in his Ferrari with gum stuck under the seat, spilled vodka on the console, and an interior that wreaked of beer and sweat.

Later that night, we attended our first show, which was The Phantom at The Venetian.

Both Deborah and I had seen The Phantom of the Opera before we met one another. I saw the show in about 1998 in Denver, and I thought it was wonderful. Unfortunately, the person I attended Phantom with in 1998 was a psycho bitch. My big boss had invited us to attend Phantom with he and his wife along with some very important customers. My ex turned up the psycho to max, and we were never invited anywhere with my bosses or customers again. Needless to say, I gave up any hope of climbing the corporate ladder that night.

When the movie version of The Phantom of the Opera was released, I also watched it with the boys over and over. I'm a sucker for chick flicks and romance.

Prior to leaving for Las Vegas, I had gone way over budget on some fancy clothes for me while Deborah spent a fraction of what I did, but bought some amazing clothes. On the night of The Phantom when Deborah put on her dress, she looked so beautiful. She was absolutely stunning. We went down the elevator with everyone sneaking peeks of her.

The Venetian photographer snapped our photo (for only $45) as we entered the theater. We both thought that it was the best picture we had ever taken together. Considering the seats that we had purchased, I thought beforehand that we would be seated next to similarly dressed theater goers. Not so. We had a row of chubby women in shorts behind us eating drumsticks and cotton candy. The audience was an interesting mix of fashionably dressed couples and tourists right off the strip. I didn't expect that.

After the show, which was fantastic, we had reservations at AquaKnox, which is in the Venetian. I selected a surf-n-turf off-menu special, which I have since learned is the number one selling item at AquaKnox. It is a filet mignon and crab-stuffed lobster, and the link will take you to the recipe, but I highly recommend letting the chefs at AquaKnox prepare it for you. Deborah and I also shared a bottle of 2009 Jordan Chardonnay. If you find yourself traveling to Las Vegas, I highly recommend AquaKnox and Jordan Chardonnay.

As we were leaving AquaKnox, Deborah and I decided to play some craps. Deborah's not really a gambler, so I should have written that I decided to play some craps with Deborah standing next to me. So we start playing, and we're staying basically even--a hundred up, then a hundred down. As we keep playing, the table gets a little hotter and we start winning. Of course, Deborah is still looking beautiful in her dress and all the men at the table are sneaking long wishful glances at her. I was eating it up. After a while, an elderly gentleman squeezes into the table next to her. He never placed a single bet, but he damn sure tried to burn a whole through her dress to see those perfect boobs. The dude was practically drooling--it's possible he did actually drool, but I didn't see it.

The dice come around to Deborah, and everyone wants her to roll. So we put down bets for both of us, and she starts rolling. Since she had never rolled craps dice before, Deborah didn't necessarily know all the do's and don'ts, and she mistakenly reached down to grab the dice with both hands. Big no no. Everyone yells, "one hand!" So she grabs with one hand, throws the dice, one goes off the table, across the aisle, and hits a scantily-clad waitress in the butt. "Sorry. Same dice!" She got the hang of it really fast, and won us some money. When we walked away from the table, we had won $300, which doesn't make us high rollers, but it was a lot of fun.

After getting back to the room, Deborah crawled in bed and watched Whitney Cummings on Comedy Central. I've never heard Deborah laugh like that before. As we retired to our separate rooms, we both realized that it had been an amazing night. A stupendous celebration of our 1st anniversary.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Notable Quotes

While reading last week, I came across a couple of quotes that I thought were note worthy. The first is attributed to Charles Newcomb, section manager for wind and water at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory, and was published in the Boulder Daily Camera.

If you're going to invest millions of dollars in a (wind) turbine, it's not a great idea to put it in a location where there is no wind.
It seems that the people of Superior, Colorado have funded a wind turbine and the only remaining question is where to put it. They could put it near town where the townspeople can look at the wind turbine and feel good about themselves, except that there is no wind and the turbine won't generate electricity. Conversely, they could put it out on the eastern Colorado plains where they can't see it everyday, but there's lots of wind for the turbine to actually generate electricity. An epic dilemma for the little green people of Superior.

The second quote is attributed to Lauren Fleshman, 2012 5000m Olympic hopeful, and published in Runner's World (November 2011).
I cherish my days off. Every seven to 10 days, I sit on my butt and do nothing. I try to sync time off with my triathlete husband so we can blob-ify ourselves by watching movies and eating too much.
Now that's a training plan that I could sink me teeth into.