Day 4 -- 2 + 2

I love Deborah because...

She has an amazing sense of humor.
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"I'm sorry baby, I didn't put two and two together."

"Oh God honey. You're a mathematician. How can you not put two and two together?!"

Day 3 -- The Nanny

I love Deborah because...

She listens and asks questions.
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We made a huge leap a few months ago by hiring a nanny. Gwen has worked for us on a part-time basis since last summer, and we finally brought her on full-time.

My best friend and his wife have a nanny, Yolita. Yolita couldn't drive, clean, or cook, but she was there to watch TV with the kids and go on vacations with the family. As Tom said, "I should have just adopted her."

Gwen is NOT like Yolita. She drives the kids everywhere, and cooks them meals. She also can crack a homework whip, and she's a therapist to boot, which means she's there to listen and counsel when we're all f_cked up. At least one of us is f_cked up on any given day, so Gwen definitely earns her pay.

Tom was right about one thing though. The nanny, Gwen in our case, works their way into a family, and it's kinka like we added an oldest daughter to the crew. Of course, that's meant in a very loving way, as in, anybody that messes with Gwen, messes with us. One might be able to get away with messing with me, but Deborah can, and will, kick some serious ass.

Day Two -- Bone Failure

I love Deborah because...

She is a prolific reader, sometimes reading 3 or 4 books at a time. By seeing the pleasure she derives from reading, not to mention the smarts she acquires, it got me reading for relaxation again.

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I was supposed to be running the Colorado Marathon this weekend. As my long runs during training exceeded 14 miles, my left leg started to fail again. After several weeks of pushing through the pain, I gave in to the pain again and took a month off from running. Now I have to find a new race and start over.

Like last time, failure doesn't occur until my long runs start to exceed two hours, but it's not the time or distance that creates the problem.

It's my weight.

The only way that I'll be able to finish another marathon is if I can get my weight down to 230 lbs, which means that I have to drop about 40 lbs. I've done it before, so I'll get it done. I really enjoyed working with my coach during the training, and it's certainly not his fault that I couldn't get below 250 lbs. He encouraged me to run faster, and had me racing at a 9 minute pace, which I never thought that I would see again. As my weight starts to fall off, I'll be working with David Clark again.

While I'm referring to David Clark, I should note that his non-profit Superman Project is about to start its 300 mile Recovery Run. David will run across the state of Colorado to raise awareness for recovering alcoholics and addicts. If you can, visit the website and chip in a few bucks to support the run.

There's also a new documentary called 1Hundred that features David Clark as he ran the 2011 Leadville 100 trail race. I've never embedded a video before, but here's the trailer.

Day One

I love Deborah because...

In spite of all of my imperfections, she truly loves me.

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Whoa. What happened?

I was posting somewhat regularly, then whomp, nothing. We's got a lot of catchin up to do over the next few weeks. A birthday, a vacation, some fragile bones, some jugs. I mean there's a lot to write about. And I got pictures too, including the jugs.

Today is Day One, tomorrow is Day Two.

Conservative Pumpkin Chunkin, (Wo)Men In Black, and Sweet Sixteen

I noted on my Facebook page that Justin, Jarrod, and I attended and voted in our first Republican Presidential Caucus. I voted for Rick Santorum, and I even donated to his campaign. It was great to get the boys involved in the democratic process, but what was even cooler was the guy sitting in the background in the denim jacket.

His name is Greg Wolfe, and as I was seated next to him, I noticed he was wearing a cap that said, "1st Place Pumpkin Chunkin," so I asked him about it. Come to find out he was the 2011 national champion and he lives right down the street from me. I thought this way cool. Deborah wasn't as impressed. His winning chunkin is on The Discovery Channel, and his team chuncked a pumpkin 2,033 feet--that's almost 1/2 a mile!!!

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I took Miranda to get her haircut, and after walking the mall for an hour, I turned on my iPod and started people watching. Occasionally, some girl would walk by and I would get a knock-me-over whiff of perfume. It kept happening over and over, and I kept thinking damn beotches, back away from the pump. Then I looked across from me at a table of 5 people all wearing black. At first I thought it was a morticians business meeting because of all the black clothing, but finally, I saw them passing a bottle of something from person to person and letting each person spray until they absorbed the scent.

So, if you were one of the women that walked by while I was thinking you were wearing too much perfume, I apologize. It was really the (wo)men in black crew testing alien exterminating sprays. Luckily, I survived...barely.

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Miranda is sweet 16 now. Here she is with Deborah and Lexie. Mom told her to stick her boobs out for the picture. All you Mountain Range dudes that read my blog better know that the boobs are not for closer examination or consumption until Deborah says so. So admire Miranda from down the hall, and talk to her or hug her when you meet, but keep your hands on your own junk until further notice.

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I'm still preparing for the Colorado Marathon. Today, I managed a 12 mile long run on the treadmill, and I was actually really proud of myself. 2 hours on a treadmill takes quite a bit of discipline. My record is 18 miles on a treadmill, and I promise that won't happen again any time soon. My coach ran 24 hours on a treadmill one day last year -- almost 100 miles. Of course, he is a little nuts.

Frame of Reference

You know, little kids sometimes have accidents during the night as they sleep, which means the sheets have to be changed and washed until the next time. So, when Lexie walked out of her room on Saturday and saw Deborah changing the sheets on her bed, Lexie just naturally asked, "Mommy, did you pee in the bed?"

After the laughing stopped, Deborah explained to Lexie that sleeping on clean sheets is another reason to change sheets on a bed that doesn't involve pee.

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Deborah was on a roll on Saturday after changing the sheets, and she decided to tidy up some books on the bookshelf and get rid of some old paperwork. We(!) like our house and lifestyles, and although some nosey relatives might think the house has a "lived in" disheveled look, we think it's just fine. In other words, it doesn't really bother us that toys are scattered everywhere most days, or that my office is organized in stacks of papers and file folders.

So when Miranda walked into the master bedroom on Saturday and saw neatness, she naturally inquired as if it's never happened before, "Mom, did you clean something?"

After the laughing stopped, Deborah explained to Miranda that walking through a room without breaking a toe on a stack of books is another reason to tidy things up occasionally.

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So I'm lying in bed with Deborah this morning talking about stuff. I started to kiss her and she said, "I've been getting these strange headaches." So, I stopped, got off her, and replied, "It's probably me."

Deborah said, "No. If it was you, on our wedding day I would have had a headache."

I responded, "You were just too busy throwing up to have a headache I guess."

Deborah said, "Well...yeah...but you weren't causing headaches."

"Uh huh. Probably not your best anecdotal response."

"No, it probably wasn't, but I haven't had my coffee yet."

"Nice boobs."

"Now, I've got a headache." "A bad headache."

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Congratulations to my coach, David Clark, who endured constant rain and muddy trails in Texas to finish the Rocky Raccoon 100 miler in a little over 20 hours. He's an animal, and definitely walks-the-walk.

He was kind enough to send me my interval workout for today via text message. Thanks coach, but shouldn't we take a day off or so to recover? I didn't think so.



Superman's Rocky Raccoon 100 Miler

That's my coach, David Clark, and as I've noted before, Dave is an ultramarathoner. This weekend Dave will be running the Rocky Raccoon 100 mile race in Huntsville, Texas. As he ran me through my speed intervals today, Dave told me that his goal is to break 20 hours.

Dave's 41st birthday is also on Sunday, so if he finishes in exactly 20 hours, which will be at midnight, he will also get to celebrate his birthday at the finish line.

He also told me to keep this secret, and given my readership it'll probably remain a secret, but he's really targeting 100 miles in less than 18 hours. So, all you running readers out there, please go to Dave's page, and send runner's love for the big race.

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I saw that the record is like 12 hours. TWELVE HOURS(!) to run 100 miles. Forgive my math skills, but I think 100 miles is like 4 marathons. So, this dude, Ian Sharman, ran 12:44:33 last year. That's like running 3:11 marathons back to back to back to back.

I'm speechless...

and, fat, old, and slow.