Turkey Day With A Trot

My coach said he needed a hard 5k time, and I decided that I wanted to break 30 minutes in the 5k. But, my coach also said I could run a 28 minute 5k. Well coach, I ran hard, and I achieved my goal, that is, I ran the Anthem Turkey Day 5k in 29:44. Yea! It wasn't as fast as he wanted, but achieving my goal was a win for my Colorado Marathon training program.

I finished 13 out of 30 in the 50-59 age group, which for me is pretty good; however, I was outrun by a 7-, 8-, and three 10 year old boys; four men over 60, and a 70 year old man. Clearly, I still have a lot of work to do.

My wife, best supporter, and Turkey Day boob flasher, Deborah, was with me at the trot taking pictures. She was up on a small atoll with a view of the start and finish. At the start, I was waving to her so she could pick me out of the crowd of 9 minute milers, but something in the grass caught Deborah's attention and she was looking down. So, no start pictures, which is really a good thing because I didn't have to suck in my gut at the start and finish.

As I made the final turn, Deborah was on me and started snapping pictures. Normally, finishing a race would have earned a boob flash, but Deborah was dressed in about 16 layers, and it was impossible to unleash the perky girls in such a short period of time. Not to mention we didn't want to get arrested before preparing the feast for the kids.

We talked about it afterwards and decided for future winter races, we should create undergarments with boob cut-outs...like so

Deborah will simply have to open her outerwear to flash me the victory sign. I know this may sound juvenile, but really guys, are you motivated by a finishers medal or perfect breasts. I got medals, and they're nice, but I'll never see enough of my wife's boobs. On my deathbed, with my last gasp of air, I hope I ask Deborah if I can see her boobs just one more time. But I digress...

After the trot, we had a wonderful pre-prepared turkey dinner that I purchased. It's not that I'm too lazy to cook, it's just that our oven electronics burnt up for the second time. It cost $1500 to fix it the first time, and I'm not paying for a third set of electronics with a design flaw. We've managed to get by without the oven by using the heck out of our microwave, which is Whirlpool's equivalent of a Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven. Anyway, without an oven and since it takes 6 years to cook a turkey in the Whirlpool Easy Bake Oven, we purchased our dinner this year.

By the end of the day, Deborah and I had attended and run a 5k race. We applauded a 5 year old girl that finished the 5k in about 36 minutes, and we applauded an 81 year old woman that finished in 39 minutes. We bought about 300 meals for Americans going hungry, and we thanked God for our family and the life we've earned. Thursday, 24 NOV 2011, was truly a happy thanksgiving.